最早于1983年在UUCP-net（互联网的前身）上发表的一个编程笑话
Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL
Ed Post
真正的程序员不使用PASCAL
Ed 发布（齐东野人翻译）
Letter to the editor of Datamation, volume 29 number 7, pp. 263-265, July 1983
"Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL"
真正的程序员不使用PASCAL
-----------------------------------
Back in the good old days -- the "Golden Era" of computers, it
was easy to separate the men from the boys (sometimes called "Real Men"
and "Quiche Eaters" in the literature). During this period, the Real
Men were the ones that understood computer programming, and the Quiche
Eaters were the ones that didn't. A real computer programmer said
things like "DO 10 I=1,10" and "ABEND" (they actually talked in capital
letters, you understand), and the rest of the world said things like
"computers are too complicated for me" and "I can't relate to computers
-- they're so impersonal". (A previous work [1] points out that Real
Men don't "relate" to anything, and aren't afraid of being impersonal.)
在那些以前的好日子－计算机的黄金时代－是很容易区别男人跟小男孩的（文学作品中有时候也称为真正的男人和吃乳蛋饼的）。在那个时候，真正的程序员是那些懂计算机编程的人，吃乳蛋饼的并不懂计算机程序。真正的程序喜欢说"DO 10 I=1,10"和"ABEND"（他们喜欢用大写字母，你明白的），那些吃乳蛋饼的说：“计算机对我来说太难了，我不用计算机，计算机太不人性了。”
（早期作品[1]中指出真正的男人不害怕任何不人性。）
But, as usual, times change. We are faced today with a world
in which little old ladies can get computers in their microwave ovens,
12-year-old kids can blow Real Men out of the water playing Asteroids
and Pac-Man, and anyone can buy and even understand their very own
Personal Computer. The Real Programmer is in danger of becoming extinct, of being replaced by high-school students with TRASH-80's.
There is a clear need to point out the differences between the
typical high-school junior Pac-Man player and a Real Programmer. If
this difference is made clear, it will give these kids something to
aspire to -- a role model, a Father Figure. It will also help explain
to the employers of Real Programmers why it would be a mistake to
replace the Real Programmers on their staff with 12-year-old Pac-Man
players (at a considerable salary savings).
LANGUAGES
编程语言
The easiest way to tell a Real Programmer from the crowd is by
the programming language he (or she) uses. Real Programmers use FORTRAN. Quiche Eaters use PASCAL. Nicklaus Wirth, the designer of PASCAL, gave a talk once at which he was asked "How do you pronounce
your name?". He replied, "You can either call me by name, pronouncing
it 'Veert', or call me by value, 'Worth'." One can tell immediately
from this comment that Nicklaus Wirth is a Quiche Eater. The only
parameter passing mechanism endorsed by Real Programmers is call-by-value-return, as implemented in the IBM\370 FORTRAN-G and H compilers. Real programmers don't need all these abstract concepts to get their jobs done -- they are perfectly happy with a keypunch, a FORTRAN-IV compiler, and a beer.
最简单的从人群中认出真正的程序员的方法是他（她）使用的编程语言。真正的程序员使用Fortran，吃乳蛋饼的使用PASCAL。Nicklaus Wirth，设计PASCAL的人，当有人问你怎么叫自己的名字是，回答说：“你可以叫我的名字，Veert，也可以叫我的值Worth”。你可以马上得出结论Nicklaus Wirth是个吃乳蛋饼的家伙。真正的程序员认可的参数传递机制是call-by-value-return，就象BM\370 FORTRAN-G and H 编译器实现的那样，真正的程序员享受着键盘穿孔机，FORTRAN-IV编译器，和一杯啤酒。
* Real Programmers do List Processing in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN处理列表。
* Real Programmers do String Manipulation in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN进行字符操作。
* Real Programmers do Accounting (if they do it at all) in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN做会计工作，如果他们做这个工作。
* Real Programmers do Artificial Intelligence programs in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN做人工智能程序。
If you can't do it in FORTRAN, do it in assembly language. If you
can't do it in assembly language, it isn't worth doing.
如果你不能用FORTRAN做，那就用汇编语言做。如果你不能用汇编语言做，那他就不值得做。
Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL
Ed Post
真正的程序员不使用PASCAL
Ed 发布（齐东野人翻译）
Letter to the editor of Datamation, volume 29 number 7, pp. 263-265, July 1983
"Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL"
真正的程序员不使用PASCAL
-----------------------------------
Back in the good old days -- the "Golden Era" of computers, it
was easy to separate the men from the boys (sometimes called "Real Men"
and "Quiche Eaters" in the literature). During this period, the Real
Men were the ones that understood computer programming, and the Quiche
Eaters were the ones that didn't. A real computer programmer said
things like "DO 10 I=1,10" and "ABEND" (they actually talked in capital
letters, you understand), and the rest of the world said things like
"computers are too complicated for me" and "I can't relate to computers
-- they're so impersonal". (A previous work [1] points out that Real
Men don't "relate" to anything, and aren't afraid of being impersonal.)
在那些以前的好日子－计算机的黄金时代－是很容易区别男人跟小男孩的（文学作品中有时候也称为真正的男人和吃乳蛋饼的）。在那个时候，真正的程序员是那些懂计算机编程的人，吃乳蛋饼的并不懂计算机程序。真正的程序喜欢说"DO 10 I=1,10"和"ABEND"（他们喜欢用大写字母，你明白的），那些吃乳蛋饼的说：“计算机对我来说太难了，我不用计算机，计算机太不人性了。”
（早期作品[1]中指出真正的男人不害怕任何不人性。）
But, as usual, times change. We are faced today with a world
in which little old ladies can get computers in their microwave ovens,
12-year-old kids can blow Real Men out of the water playing Asteroids
and Pac-Man, and anyone can buy and even understand their very own
Personal Computer. The Real Programmer is in danger of becoming extinct, of being replaced by high-school students with TRASH-80's.
There is a clear need to point out the differences between the
typical high-school junior Pac-Man player and a Real Programmer. If
this difference is made clear, it will give these kids something to
aspire to -- a role model, a Father Figure. It will also help explain
to the employers of Real Programmers why it would be a mistake to
replace the Real Programmers on their staff with 12-year-old Pac-Man
players (at a considerable salary savings).
LANGUAGES
编程语言
The easiest way to tell a Real Programmer from the crowd is by
the programming language he (or she) uses. Real Programmers use FORTRAN. Quiche Eaters use PASCAL. Nicklaus Wirth, the designer of PASCAL, gave a talk once at which he was asked "How do you pronounce
your name?". He replied, "You can either call me by name, pronouncing
it 'Veert', or call me by value, 'Worth'." One can tell immediately
from this comment that Nicklaus Wirth is a Quiche Eater. The only
parameter passing mechanism endorsed by Real Programmers is call-by-value-return, as implemented in the IBM\370 FORTRAN-G and H compilers. Real programmers don't need all these abstract concepts to get their jobs done -- they are perfectly happy with a keypunch, a FORTRAN-IV compiler, and a beer.
最简单的从人群中认出真正的程序员的方法是他（她）使用的编程语言。真正的程序员使用Fortran，吃乳蛋饼的使用PASCAL。Nicklaus Wirth，设计PASCAL的人，当有人问你怎么叫自己的名字是，回答说：“你可以叫我的名字，Veert，也可以叫我的值Worth”。你可以马上得出结论Nicklaus Wirth是个吃乳蛋饼的家伙。真正的程序员认可的参数传递机制是call-by-value-return，就象BM\370 FORTRAN-G and H 编译器实现的那样，真正的程序员享受着键盘穿孔机，FORTRAN-IV编译器，和一杯啤酒。
* Real Programmers do List Processing in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN处理列表。
* Real Programmers do String Manipulation in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN进行字符操作。
* Real Programmers do Accounting (if they do it at all) in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN做会计工作，如果他们做这个工作。
* Real Programmers do Artificial Intelligence programs in FORTRAN.
真正的程序员用FORTRAN做人工智能程序。
If you can't do it in FORTRAN, do it in assembly language. If you
can't do it in assembly language, it isn't worth doing.
如果你不能用FORTRAN做，那就用汇编语言做。如果你不能用汇编语言做，那他就不值得做。
